The Alternative Manager

How your Boss talks to his/her Superior: #7 - The Lieutenant

Sometimes your boss will be a true Extension (or maybe a Praetorian) of the Superior. You can generally spot this because there will appear to be a natural relationship between the two, without any of the curious or artificial giveaway-behaviours of the other types. Again, Maos, Thatchers and Saddams are most likely to have Lieutenants. This can be very good news. If you are nicely ensconced as a Praetorian of your boss, and that same or similar relationship applies up the chain, you are likely to find yourself brought into contact with the Superior in a positive way, and possibly even begin to be treated as an Extension of the Superior instead of just your boss: promotion is just a stratagem away

How your Boss talks to his/her Superior: #6 - The Agent-on-Earth

Sometimes your boss will quite clearly be a Loyalist of the Superior, charged with finding out what is actually going on. This is particularly likely if the Superior is a Thatcher or Mao. It is also possible with Saddams, in which case you are safe enough if the Agent-on-Earth is your direct boss, but be very careful otherwise not go give any information away.

Their mission on earth is not to achieve anything, but to try and find out what is actually going on: always a serious problem for Superiors (because no one ever wants to tell them anything bad). In the presence of the Superior, the Agent-on-Earth will often be the minute-taker of the meeting, or the guy who prepared the agenda, or worst-of-all, the guy passing notes and periodically taking the lead in questioning. Look out for situations where this has clearly been set up in advance.

How your Boss talks to his/her Superior: #5 - The Press-Officer

Expected at all times to express the Superior’s opinion. With Superior’s who are weak on the party-line, or just weak, particularly with Reagans and Krushchevs, the Superior will usually ensure that questions in this area (or most areas) are thrown over to the Press-Officer. Phrases such as “where do we stand on that one, Jack?” and “do you have the latest on this?” give the game away. Be careful not to confuse the Press-Officer, who is just a voice, with the following types (Minister, Lieutenant, Agent on Earth) who have real power

How your Boss talks to his/her Superior: #4 - The Child

A surprisingly frequent visitor, the Child (an exaggeratedly emotional Dependent when in the presence of the Superior in front of an audience) has a self-esteem which seems completely determined by the Superior’s responses on a minute-by-minute basis. Merely being engaged in public conversation by the Superior makes them blossom, while being praised makes them gibber with gratitude. Being rebuked however, can often bring them near to tears. This is useful as it usually means they can’t speak for several minutes for fear of cracking voice, or actually have to leave a meeting in need of an emergency bathroom visit, giving you the opportunity to speak without your boss as an audience. For some reason, (possibly connected with their power-as-aphrodisiac aspiriations?), Kennedys seem to have an unusual high birthrate of Child reactions.

How your Boss talks to his/her Superior: #3 - The Bureaucrat

The Bureacrat always carries files full of detail to discussions with the Superior (or in its more modern version, the Technoprat, carries around PDAs, laptops, the latest in mobile-phone technology) and resorts to hiding in them whenever addressed. “Let me see, we did 17 of those on Tuesday, 43 on Wednesday, 2032 month-to-date, so it’s going pretty well” is a characteristic response.

When called to action, the response is to make a note on a ToDo list (usually a special pad specially ruled for the purpose) and reply “OK, we’ll do a preliminary study this week and get back to you with a more detailed response.” Make sure you recognise actions which will be coming your way later if this happens in your presence, so that you can either do them, or have made a plan to avoid or amend them, before they actually arrive (in memo or email form) in a couple of days time.

How your Boss talks to his/her Superior: #2 - The Slave

Usually very nervous in tone (you may even have seen slaves who tremble or sweat slightly). Every utterance from the Superior is supported with, often excessive, approving body-language, and as soon as a suggestion is made, it is greeted with “we’ll get on to it right away” or similar. In the worst case, the Slave will delegate on the spot, so watch out for the “Jack, can you see that Superior gets it by Friday please”. Incidentally, do not argue if this happens to you. Just agree in public, and then if Friday is a ridiculous deadline, or the task is impossible anyway, go and discuss it with your boss now.

If the Slave has missed a deadline, or failed to achieve something, and is caught out by the Superior, the Slave will always cover with “we’ve got a few problems with that right now, but it should be done early next week”. Whatever happens, the Slave will never tell the Superior that something he/she has said is wrong/impossible/stupid; rather they will try to make it right/feasible/magnificently-farsighted.